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How Do You React When You Feel Out of Control?
How do you react when things happen in your life, which are out of your control and not your preferred experience or outcome?
Do you complain and get angry, or do you shut down and get depressed?
I’ve had an event occur recently, which affects someone I love dearly, but it’s one of those situations which I simply cannot control or fix.
As a person who enjoys offering advice when asked, and supporting those around me who are troubled or in need, it is very frustrating when I have nothing to offer…
I’ve spent the past 5 years on a program of personal development, which culminated in writing a book about my discoveries along the way. I discuss this very situation in the book – when a time of Void comes into your life – the Void is a time when you don’t know what to do – as quoted from Sanaya Roman who describes this Void brilliantly:
“The void is a time of not-knowing. It may feel like a state of not-doing, of nothingness. It is only when you stop knowing in your normal way and experience not-knowing that you can connect with new knowledge.
This state of nothingness and not-knowing is a state of being rather than doing, of stillness and silence. Many of you fear the void because it offers neither a solid foundation nor a clear identity.
What you have identified with may be changing to allow you to grow into a greater identity.”
At the time, the void doesn’t seem to offer any benefit or present any options for growth….it just seems dark and lifeless….like a void…
Right now I struggle to understand the lessons I will take away from this experience, and yet I do believe in my own philosophy! Eventually, something of value will present itself…I just don’t know when or how…
The realization that not-knowing is part of life can be very humbling, especially for those of us who usually feel “in control”.
The reality is we are never totally in control of our experiences.
If you’ve read my posts on entropy and uncertainty, you know that Heisenberg and accepted physics clearly expects that uncertainty will increase in our lives, especially when we bring other organisms (in this case other people) into the equation.
What I can do at the moment is to utilize my intention to support those in need. But I offer this support from afar, and must trust my thoughts will provide some light to an otherwise darkened path.
No amount of anger, frustration or despair will bring about the desired solution. Only through focused intention, and allowing that part of the universe which heals to work its magic, can there be any reparation.
Sometimes you will experience times in the Void…try not to run away from this situation if possible. You can use these times for further introspection.
Do not allow guilt or desperation to rule…they are harbingers of depression and fear.
I offer this advice to you, not as a know it all, but as someone who is in the thick of the Void at this very moment…and I do trust this wisdom will come to you when you most need it…
Write On!
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As a “fixer” myself, I understand how frustrating it is to find yourself in a situation where there really is nothing you can do to help. Good luck getting through your present difficult time and back into the light on the other side.
Hi Deb,
Thanks for your positive affirmation! Your reply is an example of the miracle of the web…This has certainly been a situation where the Void was difficult to overcome…but I’m still on the path!
Write on!